On Monday I received an interesting phone call.
I was offered a job at the dental office.
I thought they were calling about my upcoming appointment so when she said 'Would you like to work at the dentist's office?' I was unprepared to hear that. I said, 'What?'
After one short semester at BYU I decided what I really wanted to do was be a dental assistant. I remember as a child using my mom's tiniest crochet hooks to play dentist with my sisters and friends. I think it's something I've always liked and been interested in. I suspect it's because I spent quite a bit of time in the dentist's chair!
So I left BYU and enrolled in a dental assisting school. And I loved it. I worked as a dental assistant, full and then part time, for about 8 years, until Ford was born. At that point I had too much to do at home and Curtis and I decided it was time for me to focus on raising our children.
I think I always thought that someday I might choose to go back, after the kids were in school or whatever. But the kids kept coming and it's now been 20 years since I last worked in a dental office.
When we first moved here and Curtis only had a part time job I toyed with the idea of going to their office to see if they had any part-time openings. Then I found I was pregnant with James and Curtis got a full-time job so that idea was put on the back burner.
A few months ago I again toyed with the idea but decided to focus on offering pedicures instead. So that's what I've been working toward. So the phone call hit me from out of the blue.
I wanted to say yes. I thought back to my working days and how much I liked dentistry. It hit me that that was one of the only times I've felt confident in myself and in my skills. I have learned to feel confident in my mothering and am so thankful that I find fulfillment and satisfaction in what I do at home, but in most other areas of life I feel like a little kid still and feel completely inadequate.
I told them I appreciated their thinking of me and that in three years I would love the opportunity to work in their office, but that for now, I still need to be home with my little boys. In three years they will all be in school during the day and at that point I can contemplate whether I want to pursue returning to dentistry or not. They told me they would keep my name on their list if other openings come up in the next few years. She said there are changes there quite often.
It was bittersweet. I felt happy to have been considered. And I felt sad that I had to say, "Not now." But I am thankful for the last 20 years that have taught me the importance of a mother being in the home with the children, especially when they are small. No one cares for my kids as much as I do and no one has the responsibility to raise them except Curtis and I. We have made a lot of sacrifices over the years for me to stay home. But we have never regretted that choice. When I contemplate looking back over my life at the end of it, I know I will have no regrets about staying at home with my kids. I will not be sad that I didn't spend more time working out of the home. I will be grateful for the time I had with my kids and the memories we created. I hope they will be thankful for that as well.
I hope that the opportunity for a part-time position comes knocking again. In about 3 years.
Update: I learned yesterday(2/9/14) that my good friend, Elizabeth, was hired for the job. She will be wonderful and I feel like it will be a real blessing for them. Hope I get to work with her someday.