Ponderize Oct 25-31

Alma 7:23

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.

I've been pondering this scripture the last couple of weeks. It was the theme of 2 talks in a recent Sacrament Meeting. I've marked it in my scriptures before. To me, it always seemed to be the mantra I needed to repeat/remember as a parent. I've been thinking of the phrase, 'easy to be entreated' and thinking how I'm doing in that regard as a parent. Am I easily entreated? By the Spirit? By my children? By my husband? I feel as if, lately, I've been less approachable. Too wrapped up in my own thoughts, wants, needs. I need to step back, let go and be more available.
I found this quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Oct 1990

"The man and woman of Christ are easily entreated, but the selfish person is not. Christ never brushed aside those in need because he had bigger things to do."

That's rather indicting. I have been much too selfish and brushed others aside much too often.

Here's another quote I found in a small book of quotes on motherhood. It's by Orson Pratt.

"Do not find fault with every trifling error that you may see, for this will discourage your family, and they will begin to think that it is impossible to please you, and after a while, they will be come indifferent as to whether they please you or not. How unhappy and extremely wretched is that family where nothing pleases, where scolding has become almost as natural as breathing." 

It made me wonder if my children's inability to 'hear me and be obedient' is due to this reason. I don't want to be a nag. I don't like to be an irritant. But I also hate to be ignored. I might ought to try a new tactic. I have often tried new tactics, it's the consistency I stink at. That's why it's usually back to the default nagging.

Another part of this scripture I pondered and studied was being submissive or willing to submit. I found a talk by Elder Neal A Maxwell from the May 1985 Ensign that was so full of good stuff. It is titled "Willing to Submit". Here are some quotes I liked:

"Moreoever, the descriptive simplicity of this quality (submissiveness) is matched by its developmental difficulty. It is so easy to be half-hearted, but this only produces half the growth, half the blessings, and just half a life, really, with more bud than blossom. A superficial view of this life, therefore, will not do, lest we mistakenly speak of this mortal experience as coming here to get a body, as if we were merely picking up a suit at the cleaners. Or, lest we casually recite how we have come here to be proved, as if a few brisk push-ups and deep knee bends would do." 

"Required, in particular, is meekness of mind which recognizes God's perfect love of us and His omniscience. By acknowledging these reassuring realities and accepting that God desires our full development and true happiness, we are readied even as the learning experiences come…"

"Spiritual submissiveness means, instead, community and communion as the mind and the heart become settled. We then spend much less time deciding, and much more time serving; otherwise, the more hesitation, the less inspiration. Yielding one's heart to God signals the last stage in our spiritual development. Only then are we beginning to be fully   useful to God! How can we sincerely pray to be an instrument in His hands if the instrument seeks to do the instructing?"

I think in some areas I've been able to submit my will, but not in all. I realize that to have the full growth Elder Maxwell speaks of, I HAVE to be able to fully submit my will. That's scary! What will be required? MORE? Surely as he knows he can depend on us, the things requested increase…. Human-ness is hard.

I also loved in this talk how Elder Maxwell pointed out how Christ knew intellectually that what He came to do would be hard, but that He didn't know how hard, the extremity of it, until He experienced it. Yet He still submitted.

Back in 2001 or 2002 I had a small time of depression and one day literally 'ran away' from home for a time. I ran to the school and sat under a tree and cried. I was so overwhelmed at my life at the time. My friend, Anine, saw me and came to check on me. We talked and I shared my struggles. She said she thought we "had been shown in the premortal life what we would experience here and that we thought we could do it and were excited for the chance." I told her that made me feel worse,  as I seemed to be failing so miserably. We talked some more and I eventually went home to my kids.

Over the years I've thought of this. That we probably did know intellectually what our lives would include, but, like Christ, we just didn't understand how hard being human was going to be.
Can I continue to learn how to submit my will FULLY? Like He did? Can I let go of that false feeling of control? Can I trust the Lord to know best what my potential is?