November?

Can it really be November already? Fall just flew by and winter has made her grand appearance.

We had an absolutely gorgeous fall here. I remember when I was growing up here thinking that it was just so ugly here and wished we had 'fall' like they do in New England. All those bright colors!

I still want to see 'fall' in NE but I was absolutely amazed at the range of colors we got here this year. Usually the scrub oaks just turn brown and the quakies are yellow of course and the few maples are pinky/red/orange. But this year the oaks were all shades of yellow, ochre, orange, bronze, & burgandy along with the usual yellow quakies and few red maples. I could NOT stop staring at the mountain and being amazed by what I saw. I think it must have had something to do with all the water we had in the last year and the fact that the frost was long in coming this year. It seemed to gradually get colder and leaves turned colors before we had an actual frost. We took the pictures above up at the old ski lift before all the maples had their leaves knocked off by a rain storm. Not the best pictures but at least we have a family picture with Charles in it now (although I need to photoshop Jordan in).

Football is over for the year. We made it to the semi-finals, but were beaten by Rich again. It was a tough loss, but I have to say I'm not too sad that it's over. Life just slowed down a little.

Curtis has moved on to coaching JH Girls' basketball. It's a short season and will be done before Christmas and the practices are not nearly as long as football so we see him a bit more often now.

I finally have two teenaged boys with driver's licenses in my home. It's been so long since I've had someone I could pass the errand running off to. It's nice. Now if they'll just work on upping their GPA so we can afford for them to drive that would be even nicer!

Pregnancy is progressing well. Rather uneventful actually. It's boy #6 who will join our family in March. No name has been pinned down yet, we are running out of ideas for boys, I think. I have been fighting a sinus/cold thing for just over two weeks now and it's sure messed with my energy and ability to keep up with the work around here. I'm hoping it's on it's way out now. I have lots to do to get ready for the holidays. We are really going simple around here and I'm actually trying to make most things and have lots of thinking and making to do.

Kids are doing well, no one lost their eligibility last quarter. For us that's a huge accomplishment. They are excited to be into the 'holiday' season. I call it the 'candy' season. It starts with Halloween and does not end until after Easter. We did Halloween small, in fact, Curtis and I ran to Farmington NM to hit Sam's club and my sister ended up taking my kids trick or treating for me. That was a good trick, don't you think? At least it was a TREAT for me! We will just stay home for Thanksgiving and Christmas most likely. Trying to keep our expenses down, so that we have the $ necessary for baby and car repair. Those two things always seem to be a constant at our house.

I have been working on decluttering and minimizing the house. This week I have worked on the toy closet downstairs. It's become a nightmare lately and I just haven't felt like I wanted to mess with it. But this week I just couldn't stand it anymore, so I dug in. Mostly I'm trying to change mindsets and help my kids see that the less 'stuff' we have the less 'stuff' they have to pick up all the time. I just keep talking about it and how we need to only keep what we need and pass on to others what we don't need. Just yesterday I was talking about this in regards to Soren's cars. He has so many and they are all over the house. He said he would pick out the ones he liked and we could donate the rest to the thrift store. I may just 'donate' them to the dump! But I think he is getting the message. I'm hoping that by starting this with him at such a young age, he will have fewer tendencies to be a hoarder. 

(I hate when Blogger won't let me put spaces between my paragraphs!...hence the color and size changes!)

I think fall is falling!

Noticed some red/orange leaves on the mountain this morning. So after dropping the school kids off the little boys and I drove up to the ski lift road to check out the maples. They are just starting to turn and in a week or two they are going to be gorgeous. Unless we get a storm that blows/knocks them off the trees. Which is what usually happens. I'm crossing my fingers that we can go get some fall family pictures before that happens. We are in dire need of a new family picture, but I doubt we can get Jordan down here while the leaves last so I'll settle for a pic of those kidlets who are still at home. We are finally settled into a routine of school I think. I keep longing for homeschooling, but it's just not going to be happening here for a while, if ever again. I've decided to channel that longing into doing some 'school' with Soren who is 4 1/2. I pulled out the Five in a Row manual I bought several years ago and took myself to the library today to see which titles they had. If any. I was surprised that they had a majority of the ones in the book. So I picked up a couple with some go along books and we'll start this next week. I tried to do it with him last year, but he was just too young and couldn't stay with me. Hopefully this time around will be better. This is Homecoming week. Lots of fun activities have been going on. Montana put himself in the running for the Homecoming King. He ended up being the 1st attendant. We were so excited and happy for him. I was especially excited that he kept up with the deadlines and his homework and his cross country practices. I'm seeing signs of adult behavior! Love it. There was a cross country meet here last week. Cambria got 3rd place in the Junior High girls' race. That was exciting. Her cousin also ran after not training for 2 weeks and did very well. So glad they get to share this opportunity. Montana also ran in the varsity race. Don't know what his placement was, but he bettered his time, which is really all he cares about. Our football team finally won a game. Curtis and Ford traveled with the team to Layton and had a good experience there. It was nice to finally chalk up a line in the win column. Keeps the boys excited and working hard. All the rest of our games are 1A so they should be closer, hopefully. I got really sidetracked this summer from the things I was so anxious about at the beginning. I couldn't figure out why I lost my umph. Until one day when I asked myself why I was needing to take a nap every. single. day. And why was my gut unhappy when I was really trying to eat properly. The light finally clicked on for me and yes, you guessed it, #9 is on the way to join our family. I'm happy but a bit sad as well as the things I was really excited about I can see will be put on the back burner yet again until I get past pregnancy, birth and nursing. Oh, well. Jordan is doing well. Has a good job and is enjoying his return to civilian life. It's very strange to have an adult child out on their own. I'm groping to figure out what my role is now. Trying not to intrude too much, but still worrying about him doing the right things and remembering all he learned on his mission. Such is the life of a mother, I guess. Can't ever let go of the worrying! We are so thrilled to have a full-time job for Curtis as well. It has eased so much of the pressure we were feeling. It allows him to interact with all the youth in town and be around his own children a lot. We are thankful that he was given the chance to show what a great asset he can be. I'm also glad his job is here in town and no commuting is necessary. I have been working with the Beehives for about 2 months now. I'm so excited to be back in YW. I will get to work with my own daughters and that is something I've always wanted to do. I just need to put a bit more energy into it. It's been hard that way, as I've been the sickest I've ever been and have had no energy whatsoever. Must be my age this time around! Well, that's our life at the moment.

1,2,3,Cheeeeeeese!

I've been pondering another societal norm that I've noticed in the last few years. It has to do with cameras.

What? Cameras?

Let me begin back when I was in 6th grade. A very, l-o-n-g time ago. Not mentioning any years.
We took a little field trip to a national park near our town. I was so thrilled to have a camera to take. I think it was a little 110. Can't remember for sure. I used a WHOLE roll of film! Then I had to pay to get it developed and wait for it to come back. I loved those pictures, even typing on the back of them what they were. Which was good, because years later, if I hadn't had the info on the back I would have had no idea what the picture was of. Was I in any of the pictures? Yes, one. Out of 24, probably. The rest were of the landscapes, wildlife and scenery, and a couple of my friends.

Fast forward to today in our digital imaging age. My young teenaged daughter got a camera for Christmas a couple of years ago, and I've had one for a few years. While I love the ease of picture taking and deleting the not so good images, I hate storing thousands of digital images on my computer that are never going to be printed. But that's not my issue. Here's what I've noticed that has me scratching my head. While I tend to take pictures of my kids and things we do, I've noticed that the teen and early-mid 20's crowd tend to take pictures of . . . . .themselves.

Why is that? It honestly never enters my mind to take tons of pictures of myself in various poses and various states of dress. In fact, if it ever enters my mind to take a picture of myself I quickly throw that thought out, thinking how puffy I look in pictures. But I don't think that taking pictures of myself would be something I would do even if I wasn't 'puffy', if I was not overweight and out of shape.

What drives people to photograph themselves all the time? I believe that it is a product of our 'it's all about me' society. This generation of people has been raised with the notion that they are special, wonderful, important and that it's all about them, individually. Therefore, it follows that there is nothing better to take a picture of than their wonderful self. I also believe that it's a longing to be like the 'rich, famous and beautiful' people who are paraded across the magazines and screens, telling us how we should look, what we should wear, drive, eat and spend our time doing.

Going through my daughter's pictures one day I found a ton of pictures she and her good friend had taken together before we moved. At first, I thought it was nice and that they were cute, but the more I looked at them and thought about them, the more unhappy I became. Not that there was anything risque about them. It was just the dumb poses that they struck, the stuck out lips as if they were trying to make their mouths look more 'luscious' for lack of a better term. Too much sexualization if you really looked at it. I know these girls had no conscious intention to try to sexualize themselves, but because of the society they have been born into and have been drowning in ever since, they did it unconsciously. I have realized that I have a huge responsibility to try to steer them away from such behaviour and if they must have a camera, to teach them some photography skills to encourage them to take pictures of other things.

The end of the story: my daughter's camera was left laying around, of course, and the screen was broken. I'm not all that sad about it, either. I won't provide another so quickly and will do it with much contemplation and if I feel good about it.

A "Measure" of Success....

One of the societal norms that is having an impact on our family currently is the fact that the world has basically one 'measure' to determine if a family/person is successful.

When that measure is held up against my DH and myself at the current time, we are failing miserably. That is painful not only for us but for our children and our extended family.

That measure is this: how much money a man/business makes and spends determines his success and thereby his 'worth'. More money made/spent = successful, good. Less money made/spent = nonsuccessful, bad(for lack of a better word).

One example. I have never understood why the amount of money that a state spends on a child's education is the best measure of how good an education that child is getting. Utah consistently ranks in the bottom of the pile based on that measure. It would seem to me that any entity that can take a small(relative) amount of money and make it stretch and serve as many people as possible and have a high rate of return(graduates) would be considered a great success. In business it would surely work that way. Why not in education? But for some reason, it is touted that more money spent means that a state/school/district is doing better than one who spends less. I don't get it. Probably never will.

Same thing can apply to a family. We have been a one income family for a long time who has tried not to spend money frivolously. We don't take fancy trips, we don't own new vehicles, we don't go to movies or buy recreational vehicles. We live a very simple, family-based life. By the world's measure we are not good parents because our children do not have their own bedrooms, we do not give them every toy/electronic device they want, we will not be able to pay for their college educations, etc. Heaven forbid they should have to work themselves through school. However, they are good kids who are making good choices, we get along very well most of the time with very little anger in our home. There is much music, laughter and fun. As my children get older, they are exposed to more people and different families. My oldest just returned from a mission and thanked DH and I for the home he grew up in. Said he had no idea how many people lived in a home where joy and love were not a part of life. He was so thankful that our home had had fun, joy and that the Gospel was a focus.

I realize that to the world it looks like my DH and I have made some very poor choices, i.e., not getting a college degree, having 8 children, having mom stay at home. What they don't realize is that all of those decisions were not made lightly, but with thoughts of trying to follow the counsel of the prophets and trying to follow the inspiration of the Spirit to do what was best for our family.

The day that my DH went to pick our oldest son up from the daycare center(another societal norm I had swallowed at that point in my life) and found him crying in a corner, in a very stinky diaper, while the 'workers' chatted away ignoring the children, was the day that school went out the window. We chose our children over a higher education.

It seems that perhaps events have coincided to make it possible, even necessary, for him to return to school now. The best part? He is a different man now with different goals. We have different goals as a family. Now he is going back to get a degree in a field where he has great talent and abilities that he did not want to acknowledge before and would not have chosen because it is not as lucrative. He is getting a degree in education and a teaching certificate. This man has a way with people, children in particular, and can be a force for good in many lives this way. A much different goal than the one we had 20 years ago. Money. Yup, we had swallowed that societal norm/measure whole.

Over the years experience has taught us that money does not equal success. We have learned that we would much rather measure ourselves by a different measure. We think that a better measure would be: success equals following our Savior and our Father and doing our part to build up the kingdom of God on the earth. Building a strong family culture. Serving those around us the best we can. Having enough money to care for ourselves and help others as we can is important, but it is no longer the focus. It does not determine what we study, who our friends are, how we raise our children, the number of children we have or how we spend our time. It's just a tool to be used with wisdom and judgement in this life. If we stretch it as far as possible to serve as many people as possible, isn't that good?

Why I do what I do

That title makes me think of Fiddler on the Roof.....

Why do we do what we do?

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot in the last few years. Now I wonder why I didn't ask it of myself sooner. So much time gone that would have been better spent if I had.

I've decided that it all boils down to one thing.

TRADITION!!

That begs another question. Whose tradition? And where did those traditions come from?

When I really started asking myself why I did certain things, the only answers I could come up with were "it's what we've always done" or "everyone is doing it, so it must be right". For me it began with wondering why we just accepted public schooling as the norm and from there I have begun questioning e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. And wondering why I swallowed it all, hook, line and sinker!

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. Colossians 2:8

That's why I swallowed it. I was spoiled through the philosophies and deceit of men's traditions, or as I like to call them, 'societal norms'.

I am not trying to say that all 'traditions' are bad. Tradition is a very important tool to help bind people together, particularly families. What would Christmas be without traditions?? However, I have decided that I do not like the fact that I have been conditioned by our society to accept certain 'norms'. It makes me angry to think how my agency has been removed from me in many ways. I think that from this point on in my life I will always go kicking and screaming when anyone tells me I 'have' to do something. I want to know why. I want to know the reasons behind the societal norms. This has become my main educational focus right now for myself. To look at all areas of my life and see how we've been conditioned and to examine, research, study and come up with my own 'norms' or truths. I will no longer accept societal conditioning and have come to know that nearly all these conditionings were never for our good.

And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. Doc & Cov 93:39

The conditioning that we have been subjected to has led us away from light and truth and caused us to be disobedient. It's all in Satan's plan to destroy as many of God's children as he can. And he has lots of helpers on this earth doing the conditioning for him.

In some future writings I will share how I, and by extension, my family, am bucking the 'norms' society has put in place.

*note-If you're wondering if I'm including religion in this questioning, the answer is no. I have already gained my own testimony of Christ as my savior. I'm thinking that getting at the truth in other areas of life ought to be a similar search, ponder and pray routine. Not just an acceptance of what we are told by others. In fact, we are encouraged to gain our own testimony, and not to rely on the testimony of parents, friends, missionaries etc. That being said, there is no doubt that there are some 'norms' in the LDS faith that are just traditions and have little to do with the actual truth. Those I have questioned as to whether they are needful for our family. Some we continue, some we don't.

Core Phase Summer

I wanted to write about some of the things rattling through my brain, but I just can't seem to find the time to write about serious things. I am still working on them in my head, but I wanted to post anyway.

During the last year, with so many changes in our family life, it became apparent that this summer was going to be a bit of a challenge. Due to the fact that Dad was not living with us full time from Aug to April, and Mom was often overwhelmed parenting 7 kids alone, some very bad habits were acquired by all of us during that time.

Mom would 'shut down' every night after dinner. No reading to kids, no playing, no nothing. Mostly just vegging in front of the computer or hiding in her bedroom, reading her own books.

The teenaged children would either 'hole up' in their rooms, reading or listening to music or sleeping, or be gone from the house with friends til late.

The younger children were left to fend for themselves and went from room to room creating havoc wherever they went. The bickering and quarreling were constant.

No one did their jobs on their own initiative. It usually required Mom losing her temper to get anyone to move and do anything. The most frustrating part was the fact that the kids would declare they didn't even know what the jobs were, when we've had the same basic daily jobs for years now.

So when the family was finally reunited this spring, Mom and Dad decided that we were going to have a Core Phase Summer. We were going to go back and focus on learning to obey, to work, to be responsible for that work and to contribute to the running of this household. Also to be trustworthy, honest and have integrity in all we do.

We have implemented a 'points system' taken from a pamphlet by LaDawn Jacob. I hesitated to go back to 'job charts' as I much prefer a 'family work' approach endorsed by Donna Goff and Kathleen Bahr. The trouble was that no one was participating willingly in the family work and mom was getting that Old Martyr Syndrome again. We decided that the charts would be used short term (summer) to help kids 'see' their responsibilities and be accountable to mark them for the work done.

So far, it's a mixed response. There are some kids who are not marking their charts even though they do the work and therefore they are not earning any points. Mom has to be vigilant in checking up on jobs done to make sure charts aren't being marked for jobs not done. Points can be converted into money for school needs or minutes of screen time. I'm hoping that as the summer continues they will see the value of doing the work AND marking their charts.

We've had to take a hard stand with some of them. We've had to use the Little Red Hen story to illustrate that if they do not help out around here they will not participate in the bounties of the work. It's very hard to deny a child the ability to sit at the table and eat dinner with the family for not doing any of their work that day. (They are provided simple food and drink so no one is starving.) It has however opened their eyes to the fact that we are very serious about what we are trying to teach them about working and contributing to the cause.

Wish I had known 10-15 years ago what I understand now about the importance of teaching these life basics to my kids. My older boys would not have to be shifting gears in their thinking at 16 and 17. But it's never too late and we will not shirk our responsibility as parents, even though it's hard to start over by unlearning old habits and learning new ones. As with all good things, the work will be worth the final product.

As you can tell by the change in the title of this blog things are happening in my life.
Things that are prompting me to do lots of introspection and reflection.
I'm beginning to question why I do what I do and if I still want to do what I do...
And if I don't, then what do I want to do?

I think that the thoughts and ideas that I have in my mind now have been there for a long time, on the back burner, waiting for the right time for me to examine them.

The right time seems to be now, 2010, and I hope to write about some of my thoughts and ideas and the directions I find myself going.

The family and our life will still be written about but I'm hoping to dig a little deeper into my own mind and heart and address some of those things as well.

Hope you'll stick around.

He's Home After Two Years!!

After two very long and short years, the day we've all been waiting for finally arrived. Elder Welch was flying home from Montana,

due to arrive at the SLC International Airport at 9:10 am on Thursday, May 27, 2010. Here is our little welcoming party.

We weren't able to bring all the kids since they were still in school. It's also not much fun since you can't go anywhere inside the airport to greet them. Just wait at the baggage claim area.

So we left the school aged kids home and told them to make a big banner to welcome him home.

As we parked the car and entered the airport we went past little family groups who had missionaries leaving that day. Lots of tears were being shed and faces were sad. It made me really glad we had listened to the counsel given to us at the MTC about not going to the airport to see our missionary off. Saying goodbye once at the MTC was enough.

It sure felt good to be there to welcome a returning missionary.

I knew there would be tears but ones of joy not sadness.

His bag was the first on the baggage claim carousel. So we thought he would be down quickly. Imagine our feelings as we watched missionary after missionary come down those stairs, be greeted by his/her family, gather bags and depart and we were still sitting there.

I finally saw a pair of feet step onto the escalator and as they descended I saw a young man leaning GQ fashion against the handrail and KNEW it was my son. I think Charlie knew it too because he began walking to this 'unknown' man. Then Soren came flying by, yelling, "Jordan!" and leaped into Jordan’s arms. That's all it took and the awkwardness was gone. We gathered up our son and his things and headed home.

He looks just like we remembered. Not much about him physically changed in those 2 years.

On the other hand, he is so much more spiritually mature now, he is truly a man. It's amazing to witness that growth in your own child.

He has jumped right back into family life. He has easily taken back the title of 'biggest tease' although he's nicer about it now.

It feels so good to be a 'whole' family again.

The countdown goes on.....

Down to 17 days.

We actually got to talk to the 'mish' for a couple of hours last night. It was so wonderful to hear his voice and realize that in a few short days that voice will be booming through the house again.

He took the time to talk to each of the children individually. What a precious gift to his mom. They are all so excited to have him come home. He has, however, promised each of them certain things that will take place when he gets home, such as bike rides and triple dates and such. I hope he's up to fulfilling all those promises.

This month is shaping up to be a very busy one so I'm sure the next 17 days will fly by. Between talks in church, a pioneer vignette for Youth Conference, Activity Days, Father/Son campouts, and just the general end-of-school-year rush, May 27 will be here before I know it. I probably ought to get to work on some of that stuff......Cya!

Lovin that Ticker

Yeah, that one right over there. The one that tells about how many days I have left til I get to see my boy!

I can't wait.

It's going by pretty fast at this point too, which is fun and scary.

Scary cause I'm not exactly sure where we are going to put this 'boy' when he gets home. We're working on it.

Whew! and Blargh!!!!

Criminy, it's been long time since I wrote a word or two on this ol' blog. Last night I GOT to teach a class on cooking with food storage basics to our entire stake. I had about 5 or 6 weeks to prepare, but of course I waited until the last week to really do any experimenting in the kitchen. You see, I HAVE food storage, and I USE some of it, but by no means am I very good at using it all. So I spent the better part of a week, making huge messes in my kitchen and smiling when something came out yummy and getting frustrated when yet again, something I baked turned out like crap!! I AM NOT A BAKER!! I've just accepted that fact. I can cook, but I hate baking. It's an art and I can't do it.

So today I was feeling oh so footloose and fancy-free. I did n.o.t.h.i.n.g. Except change diapers, and fix a couple of meals and do a couple of loads of laundry and play on my Wii Fit. HEAVEN!!

To top off my day, I went to SEARS online to see about using up a gift card I got for Christmas and lo and behold they are having a 12 hour sale. I quickly throw 4 pair of boots in my cart and try to check out. They won't give me the free shipping it says they will at checkout......I keep trying......I somehow lose my browser window and have to start over.....now my cart says it's empty......it won't let me put anything back in it......I want to cry. I was getting such a screaming deal on those boots.......I'm going to keep trying.

No name, but it's mine!

Yesterday I left a comment on Stacy Julian's blog about my greater purpose in scrapbooking. Just between you and me, I was trying to win a free seat in her Library of Memories class.
Anyhoo, she chose five comments and responded to them on her blog. Mine was one of the comments chosen....,.go here and read #5. That's me!

I would truly love to win that seat in her class, I learn so much from her, but I'll keep plugging along trying to implement her system (found in Photo Freedom) on my own.

It's another new year and here I am again...wondering if I will make any progress in improving myself this year. It seems every year I make a HUGE list of things I want to do, to learn, to work on or to change. And every year I rarely make a dent in my list. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever accomplish everything on my list or if I'll just meander through life, taking things as they come and wishing I could have more control over some of those things. Guess for now, I'll keep thinking about it and trying to work on that list. Maybe by the time I'm the same age as C's grandma T I'll have it all checked off. Grandma's Scripture lists and individually typed cards that she memorizes when she is walking on her treadmill. She is such a scriptorian.

Here's her certificate from the honorable governor of the State of Utah for reaching such an auspicious age.

Hopefully, when my progeny comes to help me celebrate my 100th birthday I'll have as many accomplishments to share as Grandma does. (Hopefully, I'll look as good as she does too!)

Project 365 blog

I have started an additional blog where I am posting my one picture a day project. Check it out here on in the links on the sidebar.